Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize