wakey wakey hands off snakey
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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