How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's always time for handjobs
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
