It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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