your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
