barbara walters just said penis...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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