We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
