i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
