i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize