The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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