I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
