You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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