I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
