i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
