Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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