I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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