I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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