I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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