Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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