You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
