pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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