At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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