yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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