Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
