why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
