I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
