this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize