your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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