Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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