If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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