After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
