I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
