Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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