I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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