Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
