Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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