he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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