He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
