I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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