That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
