She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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