Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
