Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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