So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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