He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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