are you still at the devil's house?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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