Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
