apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
