Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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