Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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