dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need a beard to bite.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize