Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
