oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
