remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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