office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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