So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you never un-have a 4some
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
