It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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