We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
