my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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