My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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