At least make sure they are 18
Why
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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