ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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