something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
