Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
